Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – March 25, 2004
Howard’s Progress Report
Short Stories From 10 Years Ago – March 25, 2004 – From Howard – “Rosemary is an exercise loser! Does that seem harsh? I don’t know why she bought me. I just stand here in this little room with a long, flat machine called Pilates, a big blue ball and a bunch of iron weights stacked on a black, plastic holder”.
“To say that my life is boring is an understatement. I was created to walk and run – to do hills and sprints and combination programs. I am not supposed to stand here day after day. Just my luck to have been purchased by a big talker! So as far as the progress report goes – there is bupkiss to say. I can’t wait to hear what Rosemary has to say. It will be more of the usual claptrap about being tired and not having enough time. Oh woe is she! Perhaps she can explain herself and maybe she will give me a chance to talk to you again. I hope so, but in the meantime, if you have any influence at all, let that whining babe know – it’s not just all about her – I need a walk” … Howard!
Wow – Augie is ticked off with me, and rightly so, he hasn’t had nearly enough walks this winter. Howard and Pilates are ballistic. Ziggy is my only pal right now and he’s a fickle, miserable little ball of fur who hisses at me whenever I walk by. What’s a gal to do? Well to start with I need an exorcism. I’m past the point where a routine intervention will do. I’m possessed by an exercise phobic demon. I have only exercised twice this month Twice!
Now I have a sore throat and a rotten cold. I slept all afternoon on the sofa in front of the fireplace and I’ve just taken Augie for a little spin around the block. Now is the reckoning – I need to fess up. I was reading the most recent issue of Famous, Canada’s movie magazine yesterday and they had interviewed celebrities such a Angelina Jolie who works out very diligently and vigorously to keep her amazing shape and then Elizabeth (famous for the safety pin dress) Hurley who says she never exercises at all and yet she looks the way she does. Well that sent a ripple of disgust and envy through my pudgy thighs. This is not right.
So I sat down at my agent’s open house with pen and paper to once again try to understand and resolve my inability to stick with exercise. Some of these realizations aren’t new but they keep reappearing in my thoughts. Maybe this means something. You can skip this page if you like – but maybe, just maybe you’ll see your own excuses here and find it helpful.
I’m constantly making new plans and not sticking to them.
I’m rigid and obsessive – my 6 day a week plans are too unrealistic.
Classic “all or nothing” thinking plagues me.
I’m not too tired – that’s just an excuse, but I’m still not getting enough sleep. My choice – I like the night.
I’m finding time to do my writing. Even on days when I don’t feel like I have anything to say. I made a commitment to myself and I’m following through.
I don’t like to exercise – I’m lazy.
I don’t want to exercise.
I don’t see immediate results and tend to give up.
I don’t have a work out buddy.
I’m not making exercise part of my day. I need a routine.
Poor attitude – actually my attitude really sucks big time.
I’m not eating well and am eating for the wrong reasons.
I’m not making my own self-care a priority. I know the value and necessity of exercise as I get older and I’m ignoring it, and one day I will regret it …
I invested in Howard and now the vicious cycle of money – guilt kicks in, but not hard enough to motivate me.
I’m not unhappy enough with how I look to change. Dressed up I look just fine!
I’ve accepted how I look as part of getting older.
I think I’m too old to change.
I’m not treating myself and my health with respect.
I take my personal exercise commitment very lightly.
Blabber keeps telling me that I can’t stick with exercise.
So there it is. What will work? The million dollar question begs an answer.
I need a support system or an exercise buddy.
A realistic plan – 4 to 5 days a week is just fine.
I need a routine and I need to keep it simple.
I need to give myself different messages. Dear Dairy – have a chat with Blabber.
I need a new image of myself – based on how good I can look.
I need to make self-care a priority.
I need to remember how powerful I feel when I work out!
I need to work on nutrition and getting more sleep.
I need to want to do this. It’s part of my commitment to change this year and I will work it out.
I may let Howard have a word with you again and I’ll definitely be back with another progress report in April.
But really today – if truth be told – I just think – BLAH – BLAH – BLAH – Shut Up!